


CASA221B, the Screenplay

by PenelopeWaits



Category: Casablanca (1942), Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Casablanca allusions, Crack, Gen, Implied Slash, Not Canon Compliant, Season/Series 03 Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-21
Updated: 2014-01-21
Packaged: 2018-01-09 13:40:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 633
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1146654
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PenelopeWaits/pseuds/PenelopeWaits
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The one in which there is a final runway scene of heartache and sacrifice and the clever, dark, handsome, acerbic man says goodbye to the blonde, sweet, naive and slightly stupid love of his life.  Wait, what movie are we watching?</p>
            </blockquote>





	CASA221B, the Screenplay

**Author's Note:**

> I was slogging my confused and disappointed way through S3 and I realized that my primary confusion was: where did smart, sassy, sympathetic John H. Watson go and who is the dull doppelganger left in his place? Then we got to the runway scene and suddenly I knew the problem… I was watching the wrong movie, and one I have seen MANY times! 
> 
> So, I can’t do anything to fix S3, but at least I can give you this vignette with a little tweaking of characters and the right dialog in place. Hope it’s worth a laugh…

CASA221B

 

FADE IN

 

_They stand on the runway.  The light is fading.  The mist is rising.  John is confused about what is happening.  Greg Lestrade approaches._

 
    
    
    SHERLOCK
    
    
    In the hospital we said a great many things. You said I was to do the thinking for both of us, as usual. Well, I've done a lot of thinking since then, and it all adds up to one thing: I’m getting on this plane and you're staying here with Mary where you belong.
    
    
    JOHN
    
    
    But, Sherlock, no, I... I...
    
    
    SHERLOCK
    
    
    Now, you've got to listen to me! Do you have any idea what you'd have to look forward to if I stayed here? Nine chances out of ten, we'd both wind up in a jail cell. Isn't that true, George?
    
    
    LESTRADE (not Claude Rains)
    
    
    It's Greg...  But I'm afraid the Chief Superintendent would insist. John, you know you would just chin him again when we arrested Sherlock.
    
    
    JOHN
    
    
    You're saying this only so I’ll let you go.
    
    
    SHERLOCK
    
    
    I'm saying it because it's true. Inside of us, we both know you belong with Mary. You're part her now, the thing that keeps her going, the father of her child. If that plane leaves the ground and you're on it with me, you'll regret it. Maybe not today. Maybe not tomorrow, but soon and for the rest of your life.
    
    
    JOHN
    
    
    But what about us?
    
    
    SHERLOCK
    
    
    We'll always have London. We didn't have, we lost it until you came to hospital. We got it back then.
    
    
    JOHN
    
    
    When I said I would never leave you—
    
    
    SHERLOCK
    
    
    And you never will. But I've got a job to do, too. Where I'm going, you can't follow. What I've got to do, you can't be any part of. John, I'm no good at being noble, but it doesn't take much to see that our problems don't amount to a level three homocide compared to that baby. Someday you'll understand that. [ _John grabs Sherlock’s arm]_ Now, now...Here's looking at you Captain.
    
    
      _Sherlock shakes John’s hand, turns and walks away toward the airplane.  John turns to face Lestrade and sticks out his hand._
    
    
    
    JOHN
    
    
    Goodbye, Greg
    
    
    LESTRADE
    
    
    What do you mean, Goodbye?
    
    
    JOHN
    
    
    You’re going with Sherlock.
    
    
    LESTRADE
    
    
    Why would I do that?
    
    
    JOHN
    
    
    Because this is the point in the movie when the dramatic lead has shot the villain and the cynical police inspector keeps him from being arrested.  I think your next line is: “Round up the usual suspects.”  Then you and the leading man stroll off into the fog to have life-threatening adventures and an epic bromance after he says:  “This is the beginning of a beautiful friendship.”
    
    
    LESTRADE
    
    
    I think you got your scripts mixed up, mate.  I mean, I’m the cynical police inspector, but my character description says I stick to my job and stay in rotten marriages and love my kids, even if they have dubious paternity.  Your character is the thrill-seeking one with the epic bromance.  Hell, there are pubs named “Holmes and Watson”.  Whoever heard of a pub named “Holmes and Lestrade”?
    
    
      _John pulls his screenplay out of his pocket and rips through to the last pages.  He throws it on the ground._
    
    
    
    JOHN
    
    
    Sherlock, wait!
    
    
      _John dashes for the plane and grabs the sleeve of Sherlock’s coat.  Sherlock turns and stares down into John’s eyes.  After a moment, they both grin madly and shove each other into the plane.  The door closes._
    
    
    
      _Lestrade turns to Mary Morstan Watson and takes her elbow, steering her toward the waiting car._
    
    
    
    LESTRADE
    
    
    Mary, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful failed marriage.
    
    
    FADE OUT
    
    
    THE END  
      
    
    ===================================   
    
    If you need to refresh your memory about the actual dialog, the link to the screenplay for _Casablanca_ is here:   
    
    http://www.vincasa.com/indexscreenplay.html


End file.
